Hen Do Etiquette: Who Pays, Who Organises & How Not to Stress

✨ 1. Why Etiquette Matters (Even for a Wild Hen Do)

Let’s face it: hen parties are meant to be fun, cheeky, and unforgettable. But when you mix flights, finances, friends, and a bride-to-be, things can get stressful fast. That’s why understanding a bit of hen do etiquette is key. Even the wildest weekends benefit from a little structure and clarity. With a few ground rules, your celebration will go from chaotic to iconic. ✨💃

👑 2. Who Organises the Hen Do?

Traditional Roles

In UK tradition, the Maid of Honour (the bride’s main support on the big day) typically takes charge of planning the hen party. If there’s no official Maid of Honour, this role usually falls to the bride’s closest friend or sibling.

Modern Planning Styles

These days, many hen parties are planned by a small committee of friends or a designated group leader. Some groups even choose to hire a professional agency to remove the stress entirely.

Should the Bride Be Involved?

It depends! Some brides love to be part of the process, while others prefer a complete surprise. Just make sure you check in with her early on to find out her preferences — especially if there are any no-go activities or budget concerns.

Terminology Cheat Sheet:

• 👑 Maid of Honour: The bride’s right hand. Traditionally responsible for organising the hen party, supporting the bride emotionally, and taking the lead on pre-wedding tasks. Think: chief planner, budget manager, and cheerleader all in one.

• 💐 Bridesmaid: Part of the bride squad. Bridesmaids may help with planning, offer emotional support, join group chats, and help coordinate activities — but usually don’t carry the full responsibility.

• 🐔 Hen Do: A British term for a bachelorette party — typically a girls-only celebration that happens weeks before the wedding. Often filled with cheeky games, cocktails, dancing, and unforgettable fun.

💸 3. Who Pays for What?

Money can be a touchy subject — but getting clear on who pays for what from the start is the secret to a smooth and drama-free hen do. Here’s how it usually works (plus some modern tweaks):

👰 Classic Rule: The Bride Doesn’t Pay

In traditional British etiquette, it’s common for the bride’s costs to be covered by the rest of the group. After all, she’s already investing in the wedding — the hen do should be a gift of celebration from her nearest and dearest. Whether it’s just the activities or her full weekend (accommodation, meals, etc.), this gesture sets a beautiful tone of appreciation and love.

💷 How to Split Costs Fairly

Start by agreeing on a realistic budget. Consider all the possible expenses:

• Accommodation 🏨

• Flights ✈️

• Meals & drinks 🍽️

• Activities (cocktail class, butler, boat party, etc.) 🥂

• Transport 🚌

• Matching outfits, games & decorations 🎀

Then, divide the total cost equally among the guests (excluding the bride). If someone’s only joining part of the weekend (e.g. one night), adjust their share accordingly.

Pro tip: Add 5–10% cushion for surprise expenses — it helps avoid awkward money requests later.

📱 Best Apps to Track & Manage Payments

• Splitwise: Easily split group costs and track who owes what.

• Revolut or Wise: Great for international transfers and group vaults.

• Tricount: Another user-friendly option to balance group expenses without confusion.

💬 Send a full cost breakdown early on via WhatsApp or Google Docs to keep things transparent and avoid surprises.

✋ What If Someone Can’t Afford It?

Not every guest has the same budget — and that’s okay. Consider offering tiered packages (e.g. full weekend vs. day pass) or flexible opt-ins for premium activities like boat parties. The key is communication and respect: nobody should feel pressured or left out.

🤯 4. How to Avoid Money Drama

Talking about money isn’t always fun — but not talking about it is way worse. Miscommunication, hidden costs, or last-minute surprises can turn a dream weekend into a tension-filled mess. Here’s cómo evitarlo:

💬 Talk About Money Early

Don’t wait until the WhatsApp group is 200 messages deep. Bring up the budget from the very start, ideally before confirming any bookings. This gives everyone time to express concerns and avoids uncomfortable conversations later on.

💡 Tip: One of the first questions in the group chat should be: “What’s everyone comfortable spending?” Be specific — total per person, not just for activities.

🎯 Offer Flexible Options

Not everyone can afford a full-blown 5-star weekend. That’s okay! The best hen dos have tiered experiences or optional extras, like:

• A base plan that includes accommodation and one or two key activities.

• Add-ons like butlers, boat parties or luxury dinners for those who want more.

This way, no one feels left out — and no one is forced into something they can’t enjoy financially.

💖 Be Honest & Respectful

If someone in the group expresses financial limits, listen with compassion. Don’t judge, guilt-trip or pressure. A thoughtful approach ensures that the energy stays fun and inclusive.

“Hey girls, I’d love to join but my budget’s tight — is it okay if I skip the boat party and join dinner instead?”

✅ This is normal. Don’t make it awkward.

📩 Confirm Everything in Writing

To avoid assumptions, send a clear breakdown of all costs before any payments are made:

• What’s included

• What’s optional

• What’s still to be confirmed

• Deadlines for deposits or balances

Use tools like Google Docs or PDFs that everyone can access and revisit later. Keep things transparent, professional, and drama-free.

📲 5. Tools to Stay Organised

Hen dos involve flights, bookings, decorations, dinner reservations… and sometimes ten girls with very different personalities. 🫠 That’s why staying organised and on the same page is half the battle. The right tools make everything smoother — and way less stressful.

💬 WhatsApp Group: Your Command Center

Create a dedicated WhatsApp group as soon as the planning begins. It keeps everyone connected and updated in real time. You can:

• Share updates instantly

• Drop links to booking pages

• Send polls for decisions

• Keep the energy high with gifs, emojis and playlist suggestions 💃🎶

🔕 Pro tip: Pin the key info or create a group description with links, budget outline, or deadlines.

📄 Google Docs or Sheets: Clear, Shareable Plans

Use Google Docs or Google Sheets to create a master document that includes:

• 📅 Itinerary (day-by-day breakdown)

• 💰 Budget and what’s included

• 🔗 Booking links (accommodation, flights, activities)

• 📍 Addresses and travel tips

Everyone can view or comment, and changes are updated live. No more “Where are we staying again?” panic the night before.

📱 Planner Apps: Trello, Notion & More

If your group is extra organised (or extra type-A), tools like Trello, Notion, or Monday.com help visualise the planning process. You can assign tasks, set deadlines, and track what’s been paid/booked. Ideal for digital bridesmaids or when the group is spread across different countries.

👑 Choose a “Group Leader”

Even if you plan as a team, having one point person is essential. They’ll:

• Chase payments

• Confirm bookings

• Send reminders (nicely, we hope)

• Keep the vibe ✨ positive ✨

The group leader doesn’t need to do everything — just make sure nothing falls through the cracks.

✅ Checklist Essentials (Don’t Skip These!)

Here’s your mini hen do survival checklist:

• ✈️ Flights booked & confirmed

• 🏨 Accommodation with all details shared

• 🚀 Activities reserved & paid

• 🌟 Theme nights or outfits planned

• ❄️ Transfers arranged or taxis scheduled

• 🍽️ Meals, snacks, drinks covered (or plan where to eat)

You can even turn this list into a cute printable or Canva graphic to share in the group. 📲

💅️ 6. Managing Group Dynamics

Planning a hen party with a group of friends sounds like a dream… until reality kicks in. From clashing personalities to budget differences, the potential for stress is real — but totally avoidable.

Here’s how to keep the energy fun, respectful, and full of laughs from start to finish:

🎭 Balance Personalities

Every group has its mix: the party animal, the introvert, the organiser, the one who’s always late, and the “let’s just wing it” type. To keep things smooth:

• Create a flexible itinerary that includes both high-energy plans (like a boat party) and chilled moments (like spa time or a relaxed dinner).

• Avoid overbooking every hour — leave space for naps, poolside lounging or spontaneous plans.

🙋 Respect Everyone’s Opinions (But Decide Efficiently)

Everyone has ideas — but not every plan needs a group vote. Listen to suggestions, be inclusive, and keep the vibe collaborative. But ultimately, the group leader should make the final calls to avoid endless debates.

Pro tip: Use polls in WhatsApp to vote quickly on big choices (like Saturday night plans).

👰 Avoid Bride Burnout

This is her party, not her project. Even if she’s Type A and loves to plan, don’t let her carry the emotional or logistical weight of the weekend. Let her know she’s allowed to switch off, relax, and be spoiled.

If she insists on helping, give her light involvement — like choosing the playlist or outfits — but keep the bulk of the coordination off her shoulders.

😂 Handle Disagreements with Humour

Let’s be honest: group trips can trigger a little drama. Maybe someone’s flight got delayed, or someone didn’t like the Airbnb. Instead of getting defensive, lead with humour and chill energy. Remind the group that you’re here to celebrate, not campaign for Prime Minister.

“We’re not solving world peace, just picking a brunch spot. Mimosas fix everything. 🥂”

🧘 Final Tip: Stay Centred

You’re the glue holding this wild, wonderful crew together. Keep your cool, protect the vibe, and don’t sweat the small stuff. The bride will feel it — and thank you for it later..

📦 7. Why Booking Packages Can Save You Time & Stress

Organising 10+ people is no joke. Booking your hen party through a professional provider can:

• ✅ Simplify logistics

• 🚗 Include transfers, drinks, entertainment in one price

• ✨ Guarantee quality & avoid scams

Must-Have Packages:

• 🍻 Cocktail Workshops

• 🚤 Private Boat Parties

• 🌶️ Cheeky Butlers

• 🌞 Villa BBQ Experiences

🧡 8. Final Thoughts: It’s About the Bride, But Everyone Should Have Fun

At the heart of every great hen party is connection, laughter, and good vibes. Planning it right ensures the bride feels celebrated — and that everyone leaves with amazing memories (and hopefully not a hangover too brutal).

Forget the stress, skip the drama, and focus on the joy. Because this isn’t just a party — it’s a once-in-a-lifetime celebration of love, friendship and cheeky fun. ✨

🔗 9. Let Us Handle the Fun, You Handle the Cheers

Planning a hen do should feel exciting — not exhausting. Whether you’re a maid of honour on a mission, the bride herself, or part of the party squad, we’re here to take the stress off your shoulders and bring the magic to Marbella. ✨

We specialise in creating tailor-made hen party experiences that combine fun, luxury, and zero drama. Just tell us your vibe — and we’ll take care of the rest.

What We Offer:

• 🍹 Cocktail-making sessions by the sea or at your villa

• 🚤 Private boat parties with sunshine, music & mojitos

• 🌶️ Cheeky butlers to add spice (and six-packs) to your party

• 🍖 Villa BBQ experiences with food, drinks & entertainment

• 📝 Custom packages adapted to your budget and group style

📲 Ready to plan a hen weekend the bride will actually remember? Tap below to start building your perfect Marbella escape — cheeky, classy, and 100% stress-free. 💕